If you knew me, you’d know that I’m a bit of a mess. You’d know that I cry myself to sleep most nights. You’d know that I hate myself more than anyone else could. You’d know that no matter how many mean things people tell me about myself, it’s nothing I haven’t told myself 10x over. You’d know suicide is on my mind 24/7. You’d know I find it a challenge to trust anyone. You’d know I have no faith in anything or anyone. You’d know that I keep a lot from everybody and try to hide so many things. You’d know that cold weather and rain were my favourite things. You’d know that I’m not interested in being spoilt etc, however I like the small things in a relationship. You’d know I hurt myself and how much I wish I didn’t. You’d know my sister is my world and I’d do anything to protect her. You’d know the only reason I’m still here, is my family. You’d know that I regret certain things which have really affected me over the past couple of years. You’d know what really fucks me off is that people expect me to be this strong person who takes everything on the shoulder and I don’t, I just don’t. I’m not the person people imagine me as, I’m not a strong person and I have to make decisions which are best at the time. No one knows anybody until they strip themselves down and actually put themselves out there in a vulnerable way and people take advantage. This is me..